Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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