either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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