i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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