just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
