im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
