thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
