you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
