I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
