i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
