do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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