just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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