Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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