Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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