at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
