Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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