Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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