We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I could fuck to npr.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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