As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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