who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
