My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
