I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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