i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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