Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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