Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
