the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
