Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
