Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
