dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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