Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
