i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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