"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The beer is more important than you right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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