i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
