considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
