Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
