bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
