So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
