I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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