I smell stomach acid.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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