I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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