Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
