ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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