David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
