Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
