i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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