He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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