Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
