i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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