ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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