Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm like, not good at living.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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