we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
