Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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