I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
