I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
